1、小明在教室门口遇见女神,就想跟女神搭讪,但是紧张的不得了,说都不会话了。由于老半天,终于鼓起勇气走上前跟女神说:我送你回家吧。女神答:不用了,我等我男朋友。小明脑袋一抽,说:那我送你俩回家吧!
2、在食堂吃鸡肉盖饭,发现今天肉很多,仔细看有一块鸡屁股,然后夹出来放在桌上,这时我一奇葩舍友过来了,说了句:哎呦,赏菊呢。
3、妈妈长得特别漂亮,总嫌我不好看。有一天又说我,我终于忍不住反驳:“谁让你不整明白再生出来的!”她说:“告诉你多少次了,你是我捡的!”我说:“那你不挑个好的捡?”“好的谁扔啊!”行!妈,你赢了!
神奇的魔术
4、经理让我出去给她买杯奶茶,说路口那家新开的店现在买一杯送一杯,还问我要不要喝?我受宠若惊地点了点头,高兴地买了两杯奶茶回来。她问我多少钱?我说15块,然后她微信给我转了7.5……
5、闺蜜邀约我去她家吃饭。看见闺蜜炒了满满一桌子菜:辣子鸡,糖醋鱼,红烧排骨。。。我纳闷了问闺蜜“这么多菜,就咱俩吃?你老公不回来吃午饭吗?”闺蜜贼笑着边吃边说:“就是因为他中午不回家我才做这么多,不然他又要说我不过日子了,来赶紧的我们把这些都吃光,晚上我炒青菜给他吃。。。”
6、每日一笑:晚上去镇门口广场散步,见一位7O岁左右大妈俯首找东西。我靠近问:“大妈,您找啥呢?”,大妈:“我刚嚼在嘴里的口香糖掉了。”我:“都已经掉了就不要啦,况且就算捡到也太脏了”,大妈:“不行!我的牙还在口香糖上面哩。”
动物园调皮的玩沙堆小象
7、搞笑段子我们班一个女同学长得特别漂亮,是学校出了名的校花。毕业了考到公安局上班。聚会的时候我问她是不是“局花”,她骂了我一句就再也不理我了….
8、有一天,看到一个小女孩问身边的小男孩:“你说你要做我的男朋友,那你都会些什么?”小男孩说:“我会爱你。”小女孩又问道:“那你有什么不会的?”小男孩正经说道:“我永远不会离开你。”说完,两个人就手牵手去买糖果了。
9、孟婆阿,如果以后遇到一个叫汪佳宁的女孩子,请给她的孟婆汤里放颗糖吧,她最不喜欢苦的东西了,以后她的生活里没有我了,希望世界对她好点,她说她想要自由,离开我以后会开心,可你知道么?你走以后,我什么都没有了。
比我厉害那么一丢丢,,反向思考一下,收集齐这些就可以做人体炼成的底材了
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熊猫来了会不会觉得是个恐怖谷
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骑手:啊?放到女尸头旁边
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吃个糖把假牙搞掉了
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试问哪个女生小时候没有往自己的指甲和耳朵上贴过这些呢?
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学术蝗虫:所到之处,寸草不生。
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把菠萝蜜卖出新境界了
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医学生见了要按耐不住蠢蠢欲动的手了
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你……你们……没用高德吧,千万别让它给记录上了。
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第一眼:谁那么好心,好有爱
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猪朋狗 友还点了几个鸭
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学校里面的早八人救助站
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不知道看上百万的电视是什么体验?
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睡觉时的加拉帕戈斯象龟,像不像上了一天班的你?
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出来吃个面,被店家上了一课。
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当代法学生就业现状
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三个人出去玩的比心方式
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这HR的上班精神很值得学习
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我都快要被业主群笑死了
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这个文件夹放的是不是学生的论文
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